somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
My bed smells like the plague
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
