U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize