So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
