he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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