somebody snuck up and got me drunk
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
