I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
