This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
