I puked a lego.
dude i'm inner monologue high
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize