similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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