it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
