I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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