Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
