is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
