Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I still have a little drunk in my system
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
