so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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