If that was your dad, he is hot
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
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