That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
