based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize