this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
