we have pet lesbian snakes
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize