Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
she pinky promised me she was 18
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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