I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
