nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
