Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Why is your signature on my underwear?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
