At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize