we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
