i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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