Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
