does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
