Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
