I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize