You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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