can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
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