do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
