Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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