why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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