Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize