I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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