he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
