Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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