I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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