Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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