she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
