One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
