I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
