the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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