god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
he had hair everywhere except his balls
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize