When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize