We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
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