Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
