i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
