3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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