I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
