this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
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