I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Did I show you my penis last night?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
