I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
