i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Randomize