yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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