never play flip cup with pint glasses
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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